One Last Entry 07/28/2011
Just a few days ago we realized Crue has been gone longer than he was with us. Looking back, I can now honestly say I am in a good place. Losing Crue has been more difficult than anything I could have imagined- but it hasn't been impossible. At times when I have felt there is no hope, I have been amazed to see the hand of the Lord in my life. I have seen it in many ways. It may have been through a phone call, e-mail or even an old message from someone, but every time it is exactly what I need. Just the other day I found it in a book. Jeffrey R. Holland writes about a time when he and his family were traveling across the country and his car broke down. He was so discouraged as he left his wife and kids in the car so he could travel and find the nearest town. He says, years later driving past that same spot "I imagined that I saw a young fellow walking toward Kanarraville, with plenty of distance still ahead of him. His shoulders seemed to be slumping a little, the weight of a young father's fear evident in his pace. In that imaginary instant, I couldn't help calling out to him: "Don't give up, boy. Don't you quit. You keep walking, You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come." I couldn't help but picture my own life and think that perhaps in 30 years I would look back to these days and want to tell myself those same words of encouragement. A few weeks ago I got an e-mail from a friends cousin. She also lost her little girl unexpectedly but from the flu when she was 16 months old. She gave me some advice that I have found very helpful. She said: Turn to God. Take EVERYTHING you are feeling to Him (anger, fear, frustration, depression included and especially!) without fear. He will never be upset with you for feeling those things. They are not felt because you lack faith, but because you are a human being, and they are part of grief. He understands your feelings as no one else can and He will help you through it in ways that are healing and healthy. I think this little piece of advice has helped me more than anything else. Who better to talk to than the person who understands me better than I understand myself? It also helps knowing He is with Crue right now. To end this blog I just want to say a huge thank you to all of you who have been such a great support to us- To our families, friends, neighbors and even strangers- thank you for being an answer to our prayers.  | ArchivesApril 2012 Categories |
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